The conventional wisdom surrounding child sexual abuse has long painted a bleak and deterministic picture of its aftermath. For decades, societal narratives have declared that CSA is so horrendous, so profoundly traumatic, and so psychologically devastating that survivors—who are overwhelmingly women—are bound to develop long-term post-traumatic stress disorder and deep, persistent fears of partner intimacy. According to these traditional assumptions, survivors often avoid sexual relationships for years, sometimes for the rest of their lives. Furthermore, the prevailing view holds that even if survivors manage to return to intimate partnerships, they do so merely out of obligation to their partners, derive no personal enjoyment from the experience, and suffer from severe sexual dysfunctions, such as difficulties achieving arousal and reaching orgasm.
Child sexual abuse is, without question, deeply traumatic and can indeed involve long-term sexual impairment and psychological distress. However, a recent study reveals a more hopeful and nuanced reality. As CSA survivors transition out of childhood and into young adulthood, many young women are capable of enjoying intimate partner relationships—provided they explore who they are sexually by embracing solo sexual exploration. This new research offers a vital counter-narrative to the long-standing fatalism that has defined the discourse around sexual trauma recovery, suggesting that healing and reclamation of pleasure are far more attainable than previously believed.
The Study
Researchers at the University of Nebraska recently surveyed 77 young adult women who were survivors of child sexual abuse, with an average age of 20 years old. The study explored several facets of their lived experiences, specifically asking whether the participants intentionally avoided partner sex. While the findings confirmed that some of the women experienced genuine, persistent challenges regarding intimacy, they also delivered a striking challenge to conventional wisdom.
The researchers discovered that among women who engaged in regular solo sex, a history of child sexual abuse did not result in long-term sexual avoidance or a heightened risk of enduring sexual problems. For these participants, incorporating regular solo sex into their routines corresponded with a cessation of intentional avoidance regarding partner sex, alongside a significant reduction in the likelihood of suffering from sexual dysfunctions. Rather than being permanently severed from their capacity for pleasure, these young women demonstrated that personal exploration could serve as a bridge back to comfortable and fulfilling intimacy.
Healing Is Possible
In the immediate aftermath of any significant trauma, human psychology naturally inclines toward avoidance, steering individuals away from the activities, environments, or triggers associated with the distressing event. This protective instinct is a standard component of the trauma response. In the equestrian realm, there is a famous and enduring adage that captures the counter-instinct required for recovery: "Get back up on the horse that threw you." When riders are unseated or thrown, experienced riding instructors invariably urge them to confront their fears and mount the horse again to prevent lasting anxiety and avoidance.
Compared with the physical mishap of being thrown from a horse, child sexual abuse is infinitely more complex, emotionally fraught, and psychologically intricate. Yet, this recent study suggests that the core principle behind the riding advice—confronting the domain of fear at an appropriate and manageable pace—still holds profound validity. Sexual trauma survivors may not be able to entirely erase or escape the memories of what happened to them during their formative years. However, they are certainly not doomed to a lifetime devoid of affectionate touch, intimacy, or lovemaking. The research indicates that survivors can indeed recover, defined here as experiencing enjoyable, problem-free partner sex, if they explore their own sexuality at a pace that feels safe and comfortable for them, integrating regular solo sex into their healing process.
Staci Haines is a prominent voice in this field, serving as the author of Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma. Notably, Haines is also a survivor of child sexual abuse. After enduring years of struggling with her own personal recovery journey, she eventually transformed her relationship with her body, arriving at a place where she now enjoys a pleasurable, fulfilling sex life. Her personal experience and professional dedication have propelled her to become a psychotherapist specializing precisely in helping other abuse survivors rediscover erotic pleasure and reclaim their bodily autonomy.
"Healing is possible," Haines explains, emphasizing both emotional and sexual recovery. "I tell survivors: You survived. You’re more powerful than what happened to you. Victimization is terrible. Surviving it is very hard. So is recovery. But now that you’re an adult, you have the capacity to recover and to build the life—and the sex life—you choose."
To achieve this, Haines utilizes somatic therapy, a therapeutic modality that employs intentional physical touch to reintroduce survivors to their bodies’ innate ability to experience sensation and pleasure. Crucially, these somatic explorations must feel entirely safe for the individual. The process typically begins with gentle, patient, self-massage applied all over the body, eventually proceeding to self-sexing as the survivor builds tolerance, trust, and comfort within their own physical form.
Haines’s clinical approach and philosophy align closely with the empirical findings of the recent University of Nebraska study. When comparing participants, researchers found that women who engaged in regular solo sex were significantly less inclined to shun partner intimacy, demonstrating a markedly higher capacity for experiencing pleasurable partner lovemaking compared to those who did not.
Despite its therapeutic potential, self-sexing remains heavily stigmatized within contemporary culture, functioning as a frequent source of profound shame for many individuals. This cultural shame often traces its roots back to Judeo-Christian religious traditions, which place heavy emphasis on the foundational commandment given to human beings in the biblical book of Genesis: "Be fruitful and multiply." Consequently, many devout religious practitioners within Judaism, Christianity, and Islam view solo sex with deep disapproval, maintaining that divine sanction applies solely to marital heterosexual intercourse explicitly intended for procreation. While many people do choose to have sex with the goal of starting families, millions of others view sex as an essential pathway to personal pleasure and connection. On a global scale, the most popular form of sexual expression remains the solo variety.
Beyond the realm of personal pleasure, self-sexing possesses well-documented therapeutic properties. It is considered a fundamental component in the clinical treatment of premature ejaculation in men and is frequently utilized to assist women working through difficulties in achieving orgasms. The new study provides compelling evidence that solo sexual exploration is equally therapeutic when applied to survivors of child sexual abuse, and researchers note it likely holds similar benefits for those recovering from post-childhood sexual trauma.
Get Professional Help
In at least one respect, conventional wisdom has not been entirely wrong: child sexual abuse and other forms of sexual trauma inflict deep, enduring psychological damage that requires careful, compassionate attention. True recovery is entirely possible, but it demands time and, in most cases, professional guidance. Survivors embarking on this path may find it beneficial to begin by reading foundational literature, such as Haines’s book, before transitioning to work with a qualified, trauma-informed psychotherapist. Ideally, this professional support should incorporate somatic therapy approaches and regular self-massage practices that safely include solo sex as part of a comprehensive healing plan.
